Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day Ideas

If you have a ladyfriend, she undoubtedly knows that you love her, but not nearly as much as you love duck hunting. If she's a good Ladyfriend, she'll do whatever she can to improve her stature with you. Here's what you should be looking for from your Ladyfriend on Valentine's Day...

If you're the duck hunter that has it all, your woman should be supplying you with a new spotlight for boat navigation. You can never have enough of these things! If she gives you one with less than 1,000,000 candlepower, simply say "is this all?" You'll be clobbere over the head immediately, but you got your point across that you are a demanding waterfowler and partner.

If you are the Do-It-Yourself duck hunter, then you should expect your Ladyfriend to gift to you ten pound ingots of lead. That way, you can melt lead and her heart! She'll appreciate the heart shaped mold you could have created. Either way, some duck hunters love to be entrepreneurial, and there is nothing more satisfying than than making your own lead weights...and she should know that! She should receive bonus points if she gives you a mushroom mold, too!

Some waterfowlers are much more discerning than others. For those of you that fall into the Gentlemen's Category, hopefully you were wise enough to drop a hint or two that you're anticipating a Ned Burgess pintail, complete with Art Deco-style painted plumage. Nothing says classy like green and white dots and bars on a classy lavender-gray tinted body. For chocolate, you'll take that chocolate-colored Burgess head on that pintail drake. If you mention it to her in passing and she say's how much, just tell her "Honey, it's an investment."

If you're significant other pretends to be as vested in your interest as you are, you can expect some distinctive flat art. Of course, you should hope for the original. Any Mike Helsabeck piece would illustrate her appreciation for North Carolina duck hunting and art. If you're from Hyde County, please suggest that she procure a Mattamuskeet Lake piece. But for St. Valentine's sake, she should know that since you're a diver hunter, you'll have nothing to do with a print full of mallards.

Many duck hunters have to share their hunting clothes with their significant other. The attire of our sport is always warm - and she, too, knows such. If she'll be wearing your woolens, make sure to drop hints such as "I really like that Filson Guide Sweater in size medium." She'll get the hint, and hopefully the sweater. You can abuse it for two months while she can swaddle in it for ten months.

Duck hunting and relationships are both give and take. Like relationships, duck hunters must give a lot of effort to reach the desired results. If you want a bag limit, you'll have to give more than others. Or get lucky. I'm lucky to have a woman who makes me feel lucky and pretends to also enjoy my hobby. Of course, who knows what she's doing while I'm out at 0300. Hopefully, sleeping. But as much as I think about duck hunting, I also think about her. So today, if you can avoid it, don't mention duck hunting at all to your significant other. It's probably all she really wants...

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